Long for Love
by AllTheFeelz
Summary: Feli and Lovi are famous teenage heartthrobs, a cruel agent adopted them and uses them to get money and live a fairly poor life. Feli has sworn to never fall in love but one day when he sneeks out to finally live a day in his life he sees a person that can't get out of his head. Will he overcome the cruel agent or will he let insanity take over his body?
1. Won't Fall In Love

Fame, money, style, good looks, love, fangirls, skill, what more could someone ask for?

My life isn't such a normal one, my twin brother and I are famous. What kind of fame? What for? Well, that's it, we are famous for practically everything.

Our parents had given us to an agent company when we were little. We were in a park and my brother and I were playing in a sandbox, some bully had kicked some sand in my face so fratello started yelling at them and ended up in a fight, it was really nice of him ve~ Once the fight was over, aka our parents pulled them apart, he walked over to me and asked if I was ok. I had given him a slight nod, tears were still rolling down my cheeks. Fratello gave me a really kind hug and apparently some guy thought that was really cute, he walked up to my parents and asked them about us, it ended with them adopting us. To this day, Lovi blames himself.

My name is Feliciano Vargas, my twin brother Lovino and I are teenage heartthrobs, only 16.

Everyday it's the same thing: Get up, eat breakfast, go to a photo shoot skip lunch, record something, do a special skill till dinner and then sleep. Of course though every now and then we get to do something special and we don't go to school. If we have some free time, which is fairly rare, we get taught something and whatever it is it's not much.

"Get up stupid!" My eyes fling open as I feel a pain in my head, my fratello standing next to me with his hand raised. I get up and make my way slowly to the bathroom, I look in the mirror and see a red mark on my right cheek. Slapped.

We change into the pair of clothes that was set out for us, fashion trends or the next big thing as usual. Downstairs awaits us a simple breakfast that is low cal so we can keep a figure, we look like a child from Africa, as Italians we have a high metabolism but they refuse to listen to us.

After breakfast we head to the limo, I turn to my brother.

"Hey, Lovi?" I ask him, he looks at me annoyed. My fratello loves me but acts like he hates me, it can hurt but pleasure comes when he shows the soft side, the side that got us into this mess. Guilt. Now he's the bad guy who's forced to act loving and protective over me, then I, the wimpy cute lolita boy which girls find cute.

"What is it?" He asked in reply, I stare at his angry face.

"Nothing..." I say with a sigh, as too he does.

"Don't do that! You know how much I hate it!" He yelled, basically him speaking as normal. I look down at my feet and get into the limo, sitting there is the man that I should call "father". Each day I see him the more my burning desire to have a different life accruals. He grins at us, eyes of a devil.

"Good morning boys~" We reply in unison.

"Good morning." The limo backs out of the giant house and out onto the street, I try to avoid looking at him.

"Today I have something special planned~" His voice delighted, I can hear the nails in his throat as he exhales a puff of smoke from his Cuban cigar, I think to myself.

'A. Going to a random girls house, B. Some charity b.s., C. A public photograph signing or D. A television special.'

"We are doing a T.V. special~"

'D, I should have known, we hadn't done one in awhile.' It's only half an hour til we reach our destination, once out of the car the sounds of screaming girls echoed. Fratello and I plaster smiles onto our faces and wave. This can be pretty entertaining though, watching the girls react to us, once I blew kissed the crowd and a girl had fainted! She screamed like a piglet and was out cold, I almost died laughing but cried when I saw the tabloids the next day.

We get into our room where some really nice ladies put some makeup on us. We are shoved onto the stage as the crowd of people scream and shout, waving and smiling our way to our seats the host, I have no idea who, silences the crowd.

"Hello Vargas brothers! I'm so glad that you were able to be here today." He looked nice but seemed more like he was faking it. Fratello's smile was gone and he was pouting, once again we respond together.

"I'm glad to be here..."

"I'm glad to be here~" He laughs.

"You two are so interesting! You guys are mirror twins, correct?" We nod. "That's really cool, in my opinion at least, what do you guy's think?" The crowd screams yes, I chuckle.

"So, you guy's sing, dance, play almost every musical instrument, paint, write, design, act, cook, what can't you guys do!" Fratello puts on the charms, it's so not like him.

"Sadly," He said, "We can't visit all our fans and make their dreams come true." He looked at the ground, he really hated doing this, I could tell I mean it was way to cheesy! But, the girls at it up and so they did, the crowd went wild.

"Aw, that's very sweet. Well, I have some viewer questions for the two of you." We nod and he takes out some cards.

"Ok, the first question is for Lovino. Is the bad boy act just an act?" He gave a sigh.

"Well I'm not a good boy..." I give a grin, the best thing about this is I get to mess with him~ I lean over and hug him.

"Come on fratello, you can be really nice sometimes~ Like when I wake up from a nightmare ve and you get into bed with and make me feel safe~" The crowd awed as Lovi's face turned into a tomato, he bushed me off of him, I knew I was going to get it bad tonight for doing this but I don't care.

"Aw, that's great. Ironically the next question is do you really love your brother?"

"... Yeah, of course I do..." I grinned.

"Love you too fratello~"

"Yeah yeah..." He looks away.

"Alright, Feliciano your turn~ This has a few parts actually, have you ever been in love, if not do you plan to or if yes with who and are you still?" This took my by slight surprise, so many emotions flew threw my being, it was hard to stay in character but I obviously became more serious. I look down at my feet, smiling sadly.

"A long time ago I did love a person, I forgot hi-er name already but I did I... I don't plan on falling in love again." He was going to kill me, "B-but you never know! A special lady could come around and melt this old heart ve~" The girls aw and squeal, of course. After that we head to the limo, a few girls run up to us and we give them an autograph.

"Feli! Do you think I could be the girl who melts your heart~?" I smile at her.

"Maybe, you seem like a nice girl, I think you're doing it now ve~" She hugs me tightly, slowly I hug back. A warm feeling in my body, happiness.

"You'll find somebody Feli~ I think you'll find hi-er again~" She giggles, my face burns up in embarrassment, I hope no one else noticed that. The girls walk away smiling as we get into the limo.

Falling in love again is not an option, not in my world.


	2. Life to Live

Once in the car Lovi glares at me, I give a faint innocent smile that says don't kill me I'm cute!

"What the hell was that! He's going to kill us! I'm going to kill you for telling them that I sleep with you! You promised not to tell if I did it!"

"I'm sorry Lovi, I couldn't help ve~" I said grinning, he grabs my hair and pulls me close.

"You almost told them that when you were younger you fell in love with a man! And some of them figured out you were going to say a guy, what if the tabloids find out? You are going to get us killed!" I look at the ground sad knowing exactly what would happen, he gets in the car with us. Before he can say a word fratello begins to talk, he really does look out for me.

"What are we doing now?" He had let go of my hair and crossed his arms.

"You are going home." My face light up, normally home equals nothing to do and that equals learning. I've always wanted to go to regular school, be a regular kid. Day dreams floated in my mind, I didn't even realize Lovi and father talking. Once home I walk inside, humming lightly to myself. As we walk I head for my room to read a book when something grabs my shirt, I turn around and notice him standing there glaring at me.

"What are you doing?" I stood there staring questionably.

"I was going to read a book."

"Are you done with that painting?"

"Almost..."

"Then get it done, if you get done with that there are other things that you can do." He lets go of me and walks away, I sigh and go to my study room. Lovi and I have different study rooms because if one of us can't do something the other usually can, but if one of us can do something that doesn't mean the other can't.

I get out a portrait and take off the cover, an almost finished painting staring back at me. I take out my paints and get to works, closing my eyes to see the real picture. A meadow. A meadow full of flowers, the sunshine warming my face, the air blowing in my hair with the sent of flowers and freshness in it. I can't help but smile as I paint the clouds, even in the real sky clouds look like they were painted on. It's so beautiful, the sun rays gleaming down and the grass, splotches of light threw the leaves on the trees, butterflies and bees and birds! It's all so beautiful...

I open my eyes, the painting done and looking amazing. I put down the brush and leave it to dry, heading over to my computer I sit down and crack my fingers. Turning it on I open up a document and begin to reread some of the last I wrote. A story about a normal boy who has a normal life with his normal family, that's it. I write about what I dream, there is no better story than personal feelings and experience.

I started at chapter 4 and was able to make it to chapter 8 by the time dinner was served, the boy's life had changed, he was given away to parents that didn't care about him. They didn't let him play with other boys, forced him to do labor, never let him live. I ended as he sneaked out.

I go to dinner, starving and having enough to keep a baby alive. Someone should call child services on him.

After dinner Lovino and I retreat to our room, we like to sleep as much as possible because doing all we do, how early we wake up, and sleeping gets us away from him it's easy to tell why.

"... Lovi?" He's changing into his pajamas.

"What do you want?" He asks, I start to change as well.

"I'm sorry about today, I don't want to get you in trouble but I want to enjoy myself and be true..." He stands there for a moment before walking over to me.

"Fratell-?" My words stop short when I feel something wrap around me, a warm, loving embrace melting my body. Small drops of tears lightly fall down my face into my brother's shirt. He pets my hair as I wrap my arms around him, letting my tears finally break through.

"I'm sorry Feli, please don't worry about me, just do what you do and try to enjoy yourself..." I looked up at him, he was looking away. Guilt. "Stop crying and smile!" He yells angry trying sound like he doesn't care but he does. I wipe my eyes and smile at him.

"I love you Lovi~"

"Yeah yeah..." He grumbles something that I guess is I love you too and walks away.

We get into bed, turn off the lights, and fall asleep but I, I don't fall asleep. Once I hear him snoring I get up and sneak over to the cabinets, I take out a hat and make sure none of my hair is seen. I also put in some color contacts, change into some out-of-date/fashion clothes and layer so I don't look like my normal self I look in the mirror but my face could give me away. I pace back and forth. It hits me, a scarf! I quietly but quickly run to a dresser and take out a scarf and wrap it around me, once again I look in the melted sand and smile. I looked so different! I head to the window and open it, I look back at Lovi and whisper something before I jump.

"I'm sorry fratello, I love you~"

I jump out of the window.


	3. Living the Dream

**Oi, I realize the whole drinking thing isn't for right ages because I believe Ludwig in this is only about 17 or 18 so just pretend that there are no drinking laws ^^'' **

I'm outside the house... After years of being cooped in this house I escape, I defied him and left the house. I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do, be myself.

I walk around, I'm fairly glad that I dressed the way I did because the night can get really cold. I walk into the city, neon lights everywhere! Colours glowing up your face, I can feel the energy going through my body. A grin appears on my face, I'm completely overwhelmed! I feel like Pinky Pie at a party! Where should I go first though? It's night so there isn't much to do... I walk around and find a movie theater, they're playing a movie I've always wanted to see so I do it.

After the movie I walk back onto the street, I just can't believe I did that. I sat through the whole movie and nobody bothered me or even noticed me! The feeling was amazing, I'm doing what I've always dreamed, never in my life did I think I'd do this. If I'm found out I'll be in so much trouble but I don't care, what matters is the present. The future is then, now is now and I am living my dream. Only a few people can say they lived their dream, and I'm one of them!

I walk around and stumble upon a late night store, entering I gaze around. My stomach growls, all the food... So many different brands of anything and everything, chips of all kinds and just random things. I buy so much, 7 different bags of chips, 3 packs of gum, 14 sodas of all different flavors and oh so many different brands of candy. The cashier looked at my oddly but I didn't care, he doesn't know my story. Everything is put in a bag, I notice food at the counter and order a slice of pizza and a hot dog. He hands me the food items and I begin to eat the pizza.

The cheese was so stringy, it was so greasy and delicious. I eat the hot dog, it was so filling and so good! That was the first time that I can remember eating meat, maybe it was the first time ever.

As I walk around I eat all the chips and drink all the soda, every flavour, every new type of something was amazing! I chew one of the packs of gum, hoping to save the rest for later.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize where I was even. The bad part of town. I snap out of my world of the mind when I bump into a person, taking a step back startled.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry!" I yell blindly as I look up to see it was, they look kind of scary. They all look at me, I think they're a gang of grease monkeys, one of them grin.

"You didn't see us? What's a pretty boy doing around here anyway?" He walks up to me, his voice sounds teasing. I take a step back feeling intimidated, my delighted dreams of fancy and happiness quickly became fear and terror tried to paralyze my body.

"I-I didn't mean to, I was just day dreaming..." Another walks up.

"But it ain't the day, so that mustn't be it. Right?" The others nod in agreement, another one walks up and grabs my chin. My heart began to race, what was going to happen to me? I could feel the sweat slowly drip down, my eyes tearing up in fear, I could hardly breath. It felt like the oxygen all of a sudden escaped, I try to breath but and iron grip clamps my neck shut.

"This one looks like bruises easily, what do you say boys?" One of the men say, another speaks.

"Come on boys, lets be fair and give him a ten second head start." They push me, I start to run. From behind me I hear them.

"1...10." The sounds of footsteps can be heard, I sprint faster than I ever thought I could but I hear them sort of close, I guess they are good at running because of the police... They start to catch up, soon close behind me. They try to grab my arms and shirt, I'm completely terrified Never did I think that this would happen to me...

One of the grab my shit collar, I scream and struggle out of his grip.

"Piece of shit! How'd you do that!?" I start to run, I guess screaming made my vocal cords warm up. I start to yell.

"S-somebody save me! HELP ME!" The men run after me, I begin to run blindly and soon I find myself on my bottom. I look up and see a giant guy looming over me, he looks so scary!

"P-please don't hurt me! Some really mean people are already chasing after me, please please don't hurt me! I'm a virgin, which I guess is good at my age but I just started enjoying my life and I don't want to die now! Well but if I died now at least I would have died living my life but still I don't want to diiiiie!" The man looked at me completely confused as if he didn't understand a word I just said, the men were now coming into view. How fast was I talking?

"P-please," I try to slow down my words, "Save me!" I get up and quickly hide behind the mans back, he jumps startled.

"V-vat are you doing!?" He looks up and sees the men running toward us, I could hear him sigh. "I don't know who you are or vat you've done und I don't know if you deserve saving." He tells me.

"Please, I done nothing wrong! I had just accidentally bumped into them, please you must believe me!" He sighs again.

"Fine, stand back, you look unable do to anything anyway..." I take a few steps back, tears staining my cheeks. I had never felt so afraid in my life, every fiber of my being was screaming at my to hide. My heart pounding, breathing fast and heavy, shaking badly... I wished I was home with Lovi...

The men catch up, the man gets into a stance.

"What's this? Our pretty boy found something to hide behind." They laughed as they formed a circle around my savour, I close my eyes unable to watch. Hard punches can be heard, people bashing into objects. Once the sounds stop I slowly open my eyes, the man is standing there looking almost completely unharmed. All the guys were out cold. I ran up to him and hugged the man tightly, tears still falling.

"Thank you so much! You saved my life!" He pried me off.

"Um, ja, you're velcome..." A German accent? I look up at him, he looks down at me. "Vat is your name?"

I felt panicked, I didn't think of a name and I can't tell him my real one!

"Veneziano!" The name just poured out of my mouth.

"My name is Ludvig, it's nice to meet you." I smile at him, I'm so grateful for him! He has a perfect shade of blonde hair and blue eyes, I can't help but stare. It feels like I know him...

"Um... Vould you like to have a drink with me?" I nod. He takes me into bar and orders us both a beer.

"Grazie~ Grazie mille!" He starts to drink awkwardly.

"Ja, no problem..." I drink as well.

"Um... This might be weird but have we met before? You just seem so familiar..."

"I don't think we've ever met before in my life." Hearing him say this made me feel sad for some reason... I couldn't tell why but my heart sunk, I know I've seen him before... I just know it!

We talk for a little while, get to know each other better as I become a little tipsy.

"Hey um, can I meet you here tomorrow?" I ask him, he looks at me as if I'm crazy.

"I guess... The same time?" I give him a nod and a slight hiccup, grinning greatly. I look at the clock, my eyes widen.

"Oh no! I've got to go home! I'll see you tomorrow!" I get up and run out the door, running to the house. The sunrise was only about an hour and a half away, I run up to my house and climb back through the window, undress and get into bed. I only have about 2 hours left to sleep, hopefully by then I wont be tipsy... I fall asleep immediately.

I look around me, where am I? I see something in the distance and run towards it, as I get closer I realize it, it's Ludwig!

"Hey, Ludwig!" He turns around, I see a small boy, a familiar young boy. I freeze in my tracks, Luddy... My eyes shot open as I basically jump in my bed, my brother is awake and brushing his teeth. I'm sweating badly.

"Good, you're up..." I'm so tired, I try to get up but fall onto my bed and curl in a ball. My stomach was in so much pain, I remember last night and all that different food I ate. I can't go around like this...

"Lovi... I think I'm sick..." He walks over to me.

"What's wrong?" He puts his hand on my forehead.

"My stomach is in a lot of pain and my head hurts... I had a bad night sleep too... I think I'm gonna be sick..." Lovi groans and helps me to the bathroom.

"Stay here, I'll tell dad that you're to sick to do anything."

"Wait, tell him that I can do things by this afternoon... I'll be fine then... Just need some rest..." He nods, once fratello's gone I disgorge, throwing the gum packs in as well so no one finds them and flush. I brush my teeth, my stomach still in pain. I crawl into bed, I feel like death...

Lovi walks back into the room.

"He's really mad but accepts..."

"I'm so sorry fratello..." I say half awake.

"I'm so sorry, I love you..." Everything goes black.


	4. Machine

My eyes slowly drift open, at first just blurry images before my vision returns to normal. I still feel slightly ill but much better than before. Getting up and slowly making my way downstairs, seeing him standing there...

"Well good morning sleepy head." He said glaring at me, "You feeling better?" I give him a nod.

"May I please have something light to eat? Like maybe some chicken noodle soup?" He sighs.

"Fine, if it will make you feel better I'll make you some stupid soup. I won't have you wasting money though so go do something!" He gets up and stomps away.

"Mostly broth please!" I sigh and slowly walk upstairs, step by step. Entering my study I write the next chapter of my story when the boy meets a girl, a beautiful girl with long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. The boy falls head over heals in love with her and has to sneak back in, they plan to meet up tomorrow.

He walks in, bowl in hand along with a spoon. He sets it down next to me.

"Here, you spoiled kid." He grumbles as he turns to the door, "We have to do a photo signing in the mall so be ready by 1:00, alright?" I nod, picking up the spoon and swooshing the broth around. He walks out, once I hear the footsteps fade I pick up the bowl and leave myself. Heading to Lovi's study I knock on the door, opening it.

"Fratello?" I see him put down a brush and turn to me.

"What?" I walk over and hand him the bowl, he stares at it puzzled. After a moment of silence he takes it and begins to eat, I smile seeing him eat it. Last night I was able to enjoy myself, eat a lot so I should let Lovi enjoy himself as well. He finishes eating it and hands me back the bowl.

"You shouldn't have... Grazie..." I smile and take the bowl downstairs.

"Sir?" I ask him.

"What do you want?"

"Can Lovi and I have a bowl of it? So we don't waste it, it'd be wasting money and there'd still be enough left for you." The word waste got him.

"Fine, but you will work off that money and weight!" He takes a bowl up to Lovi and I get a bowl for myself. I take a few bites before going upstairs, he passes me on the way down. Once again I knock and open to see Lovi eating the soup. My bowl was only half full, I hand it to him.

"I can't, you gotta eat too..." I smile at him, he can be so caring sometimes~

"I've eaten half of it and full, you take it." I hand it to him.

"But..." I walk out and go into our room, start to change for the signing. Once again the clothes are prepared for us, we are machines. Things pre-made for us so we can be sold, cheap and effective. We are just machines.

We arrive at the mall, so many people in line, I can feel my hand cramping now just thinking about all that writing. We walk to the table where pens wait for us, along with the pushing, shoving fans. As always we plaster smiles onto our faces, the masks that everybody thinks is our face.

An hour later, the line not even halfway through. I peer down the seemingly endless number of people, as I give up on finding the end I trace my eyes back, the faceless people fly by until one. I find a face, a face I've seen before, a familiar face of blonde hair and blue eyes. Ludwig. He was only about 30 people down, I look over and see a girl with long gray hair, I think she's albino... The two are talking, who is she? Who is she to him? Questions flying across my eyes, panic, curiosity, fear, desperation.

"Ahem~" My head snaps the the lady in front of me, grateful for her bringing me back to reality.

"I'm so sorry for making you wait, I'll give you something special~" She grins at me, I ask her her name and write a sappy love thing on the picture. I try to get the pictures quick, but I try to do them slow as well. Mixed feelings fighting each other to win dominance over my body. They are only a few people behind, I keep signing mindlessly, repetitively like the machine I am, just trying to zone into his conversation with the mysterious women. I can hear them...

"I have no idea vy I let you drag me all ze vay out here just so you can meet zat stupid man."

"Come on Luddy, don't be a sour puss! They're super cute! But I'm cuter~" I hear Ludwig sigh.

"I hate guys like him, zey think zey can just go through life vithout having to lift a finger und do vatever zey vant. I bet you if zey vere forced to vork like me zey'd kill zemselves within 5 minutes!"

"I don't know how we are related, you're such a stick in the mud!" I hear her sigh, "Come on bruder, we're next." My heart skips a beat, she's his sister. Delight, happiness, thankfulness, hope. All this was coursed in my being, heart, and soul. Heart and soul, I remember playing that song on the piano when I was longer...

"Excuse me?" A women's voice pierces in my eardrums, I look up to see Ludwig's sister... Holy crap, she is so loud!

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I was just day dreaming, it gets hard to pay attention after so long. What's your name?" She crosses her arms.

"My name is Gilberta~ And this is my brother Ludwig~" I smile at them, this one not fake. A real smile, a smile of actual happiness. I write something down on the photo, something not so cheesy but a more serious and meaningful message. I hand it back to her, looking up and smiling.

"I hope you have a really nice day~" I turn over and smile at Ludwig, he looks for a moment but turns his head with a disgusted look on his face. I smile until they are gone, everyone gone. I smile home, to dinner, to bed. Once the sound of snoring fills the room I get ready, change into my disguise and sneak out, my face not changing from that moment. That moment that crushed me, that made me fear of the future, that made me realize the truth. I smile.


	5. The Words

Using picture memory I find my way back to the spot Ludwig and I first met, as I approach the horizon and see a figure. Without realizing it my step quickens, soon my pace is a run, a run that refuses to stop. Quickly the feet between him and turns into nothing as I find my arms thrown around him in a hug. Under my arms I can feel him twitch and jerk until my grip is released.

"Sorry Luddy, I was just really happy to see you~"

"Uh, ja, I can tell..." He turned his gaze away from me. "Did you have anything planned?"

"Oh, no I didn't. I was kind of hoping to talk, that's it."

"Oh, vell it's late so not many places are open. I zink zere is a place near here zat can be nice, it'll be a place to talk." He does a hand motion and begins to walk away, I smile and follow him. We walk up to a place, he opens the door for me. He is a gentlemen~ I walk into the place, it sort of looks like a cafe. He passes by me and sits at a table. Sitting across from him I stare into his eyes.

A lady walks up to us, we order a pastry and some coffee.

"So, vat did you vant to talk about?"

"Just some stuff. Well... I do have a question first, do you like the Vargas twins?" Later I was thinking that maybe he didn't want to seem weak around other people.

"Zat's an odd question, do you like him?" I give him a nod, I can't help but think that this is so awkward. "Vell, sorry to burst your bubble but I hate zem." My heart skipped a beat, if he found out who I was he'd never talk to me again.

"How come?" The lady walks back into view and sets down our orders, Ludwig takes a sip.

"Vell, I hate all people who are famous and don't vork hard." My heart skips again, once he realizes the truth he'll forgive me!

"I think they work really hard."

"Ja, right. It's all just luck for zem."

"Oh... I guess it is just luck for them." I give a faint smile.

We talk for about an hour before I go and return home. Over the next few weeks we meet up each night and talk, have something to eat, maybe actually go do something. One night I get back home to find Lovino sitting at the edge of his bed facing the window. Once I turn around after entering the window my body becomes rigid and jerky.

"L-Lovi! What are you doing up!?" He stands up, walks to me and grabs my arm tightly.

"I should be asking you that, I woke up and found you not in your bed." The strength in his grip increases.

"I-I'm sorry fratello... I just... I made a friend and I've been seeing him, we talk and eat and have fun!" He sighs and releases me, a red mark can be seen on arm.

"If you get caught you'll get in so much trouble..." My gaze turns to the ground.

"I know, but it makes me so happy..." I feel something touch my chin, my face lifts up into my brother's eyes.

"Be careful, don't stay out to late and don't exhaust yourself..." Smiling, my arms wrap around his waist. After forcing a release we enter our beds and leave reality behind.

The day full of overtness, my life ajar to the world, the night secret and covert. Over the past night's as we talked we became close, sometimes I was able to make Ludwig smile and even laugh a little! He looks so tough and scary but is really nice! Like a s'more! Teehee, Luddy's a s'more! Anyway, I walk up to Ludwig like normal, we have a normal night but at the end we have a not so normal conversation. It starts with a question.

"Um, Veneziano, I know zis may sound veird but can tomorrow be different?" I look up at him, a quizzical expression on my face. "I mean, I vant to do somezing a little different... More special..." His head was turned to avoid my gaze, I could detect a faint redness in his face. I smile looking up at him.

"You mean like a date?" His face clearly becomes red.

"Um... Ja... A date..."

"Alright~" I get on my tip toes and kiss his cheek gently. I skip away into the night, love pounding in my chest, the world seems to be right.

The next day when Lovi and I get home from work I enter the room, a book in my hand drops as I see a monstrous beast in front of me. A beast made of iron and steel, a beast that was just the son of a complete monster. Iron bars across the window. He walks behind me, I can feel the grin on his face.

"You like the bars? I thought they would add extra security~"

"You knew..." He walks away laughing.

"Knew what~?" I turn around and see my book in his hand, "By the way, no more books~" He heads downstairs and out of my humanity. That night I go nowhere, I don't go and see Ludwig, I don't go on a date with Luddy, I don't smile , I do nothing. I stare. I lie in bed awake, staring at the ceiling and nothing more.

One day he informs us we will be doing a job that will last late into the night, some charity party thing. Exhausted and wanting to go home just to sleep but fate hates us, we ended with a flat tire.

"Lovino, come with me to get a spare tire. Feliciano, stay here and watch over the limo." He and fratello exits the car, as do I but remains where I stand. I look around, everything looks sort of similar...

"Hey!" I turn my head to see a certain man with others a few feet away from me. "Isn't that pretty boy?" One man asked, "I think that is, he's got the same standing stance and facial expression." My eyes widen, I guess these guys are trained to see details to notice spies and such...

"I-I've never seen you before in my life!"

"Oh yeah, it's him!" They start to close in on me, my natural fight or flee instinct kicks in, as result I jump/roll over the limo and take off running. This all seems to familiar, they begin to catch up, grabbing at me. "Where's your savoir now!?" Hearing him laugh I turn my head back to see how close, they weren't to far behind but they lost feet.

"S-someone save me-!" BAM! I'm on my butt, a tall figure looming above me. A figure with blonde hair, blue eyes. My eyes widen, looking back and seeing them almost to us now. I get up and plead, "P-please save me!" He looks down at me, realizing I'm Feliciano.

"vy should I help someone like you?" I can't think, he hates everything about me, he probably hates Veneziano. I can't control it, tears start to pour out of my eyes. Altering it slightly, I open my mouth and say silently but strong. Words that will change my life.

"It's me, Veneziano." His eyes widen, before he can respond I run behind him, the boys catch up to us and once they see Ludwig retreat.

After making sure they are gone Luddy turns around and stares at me, I can feel his eyes burn holes into my shaking, pathetic body.

"You lied to me... I trusted you, I embarrass myself for you and you do zis to me? You knew how I felt!" I flinched, so many feelings. Love, hurt, guilt, sadness, I hate myself right now. Hate being strong, strong towards many people but most for myself.

"I'm sorry, you do understand though!" I see his hands clench into fists.

"I understand, you used me. You took me as a fool, you made me a fool and I'm a fool for trusting you. I never vant to see your face again!" He walks away from me. The tears flow much harder.

"Ludwig come back, please listen to my story!" He ignores me, "Ludwig you jerk!" I fall to my knees, my entire being falling apart at the seams. Lifting my head up I see him frozen, half turned to me.

"I'm not the jerk here, call me that again and you really vill need saving." He turns again and walks away. I stay there, breaking down. Even machine's get over heated and break down. My heart sinks down into my stomach, an endless fall into depression. I don't bother getting up and leaving, I stay and wait. When Lovi does come and find me I don't move, I don't get up, don't speak. He picks me and takes me back to the car. Some people say when kids are scared they fall asleep, the next thing I know I'm home.


	6. Paintings

**Oh, and I'd like to thank all the people who've left reviews and followed this story! You guys really help and btw if you feel like you could so much more with this idea go for it, I know I am not a good writer so if you're reading this and are all like oh my god, I could do such much more with this and not do as so much sentence errors. I wouldn't get mad, so if you want to go for it... yeah... Enjoy!**

When I wake up I find myself back home, Lovi is sitting next to me in a chair. He doesn't notice that I've opened my eyes.

"Fratello?" He quickly looks at my face, I can feel the tight stains of tears on my cheeks.

"Are you ok? What happened last night?" I pick myself up so I'm level to him, how could I explain it?

"Some guys started chasing me... I ran away."

"Did they hurt you? You wouldn't get up when I tried to get you up..." I shook my head.

"Just tired and scared..." He hugs me tightly, I don't know whether if that made things better or worse. Right now I felt so alone, so sad and empty. Lovino hugging me gave me comfort but if I broke down into tears he would know that something would be wrong, I almost break down but hold it back.

"I'm sorry for worrying you fratello."

"It's fine, I'm just glad you're okay... Jesus, why do you have to be so stupid!" A faint smile glimpses across my face, I love Lovi so much~ "I need to you work, just stay here and relax until you're ready to start again..." He gets up and leaves the room, I fall back onto my pillow taking in all the things that happened. The man that stole my heart hates me, both me's and refuses to listen. I'm trapped in this hellish life and the only thing that makes me smile is my brother and he tries not to be because he's afraid it will end up hurting me. What am I to do? What can I do, Ludwig won't listen to my story, I can't talk to Lovi about this, what would that even do? All I have is work, work that is overt to the world...

A devilish grin sneaks atop my face, my work is open to the world. I'm not the most educated person in the world because I don't have an education and I barely get any time to read but I can be clever! If I just keep thinking I believe I would be able to think of some really good ideas! Quickly I run out the door to my study. Picking up my brush and getting out my paints I get to work.

When the sun sets and the dark takes over I am only about halfway done, I remember overhearing him talk in the hallway, tomorrow there is going to be an art auction and I need this to be finished by then, I must have it complete and ready to sell because normally we explain our paintings before selling them. This one is going to be special, my best one of them all.

The sun rises, light defeats the darkness in the continuous battle of dominance. The light filling people with hope and happiness, the darkness filling people fear and depression. This day, this afternoon, this moment is filled with hope and happiness. This day, this afternoon could change everything for me, make or break. This day could be the first of a new life, a happy new life, and the end of a horrid opressed life. But, this could be the start of a worse one, the punishment could worsen and the trials harder. He could work me to death, supervise my actions, not allow to express myself anymore. He could completely take over my life, my body and soul, my everything. But I must do this, the sheer fact that I have a chance that I might start a better life surpasses the fear and panic of having a worse life.

By the time I set down my brush breakfast is served, I meet Lovino at the staircase.

"... Were you in there all night?" He asked me, I can tell I have bags under my eyes. The night killed me, I had overused my brain and it feels pressured but it's worth it.

"Yeah, I was working on a painting~" He lets out a sigh, we head to the breakfast table. To our surprise we have a greater amount of food on the plate than usual, there must be something worse coming up. We eat up our food like a bunch of starving pigs, he walks into the room.

"Hello boys~" We freeze in the middle of eating, staring at him with our mouths half full. "I have a special plan for you guys~" Our faces constant, "We are doing an art auction, and you guy must walk there. It's about a half hour walk and you must carry all your paintings. I just have some important business with the limo so sorry, I'll give you a wagon though but... I'm sorry but we weren't able to find some people to hold back the fans so... good luck~" He walks out the front door, we hear a car door slam and something drive away.

"That damn bastard! We're going to get mobbed because of that jack ass!" I can't help but have the most wonderful idea in the world.

"Lovi... We should go into the kitchen, cook some pasta and stuff our faces~" He looks over at me, we both grin at each other and rush into the kitchen.

"This is the best idea ever! He's gonna get so pissed!" We laugh the entire time we cook the pasta and make the sauce, we barely get any pasta but it's our favorite.

"Hey Lovi, we should make a pizza as well!" I feel arms wrap around my body as I stir the pasta pot.

"Feliciano... I love you, I'll get started on the dough." The feeling of arms leave and out of the corner of my eye I can detect fratello getting things out of a cupboard and heating the oven. It takes about an hour and a half to get the pasta done, almost completely eaten, and have the pizza almost done baking. It takes another half hour to finish eating everything, an hour left till we should leave for the auction. After eating we bring down the painting, making sure they're covered so no one on the street or in a building could potentially see them before the revealing. In the garage we find the old red wagon, we load it up, since we have a lot of paintings we agree that it's a good idea to tie them down so they don't topple over while we are waking, also if we get mobbed by fangirls they'd get knocked over for sure.

"Lovi, should we maybe try to put up some disguises? When I sneak out no one recognized me, we could try to do the same~?" He shakes his head.

"People would know us anyway, lets just go." I nod, we begin our trek to the auction. On our way not many people walk up to us, I guess some people can respect people's life but one person. Out of nowhere a loud, obnoxious voice pierces in my ears.

"Vargas twins!" We turn around to see an albino women with a man with blonde hair and blue eyes, he has her in a head lock with his hand over her mouth. He suddenly pulls his hand away, I'm guessing she bite his hand or licked it. Running toward us Ludwig follow her but she reaches us before he can.

"Vat are you doing!?" Ludwig yells grabbing her arm and pulling her away.

"Oh, hey, Gilbertta right?" He face lights up.

"Oh my god you remembered my name!" I smile at her, she seems like such a fun person~ Ludwig groans.

"Of course he remembers your name..." I try not to look at him, I can feel his glare. It hurts so much.

"What do you mean Lud?" She turns to him, I start to panic thinking that Ludwig was going to blow my whole cover, Lovino finding out and doing something.

"Nothing... You vere special in the line, he actually talked to you a little and you are kind of hard to forget, you're so loud."

"You're so mean!" I chuckle a little bit, they in a way remind me of Lovi and I. I can tell that Ludwig cares about her so much.

"Hey Gil, do you want to join me and Lovi to our auction?" He face glows even more, I figured her head was going to explode!

"Of course we would-!"

"No!" Ludwig shouts, "Ve are going home." He grabs her arm again and tries to drag her away, she looks like she's going to start crying.

"Excuse me sir, I think she's going to start crying. You really should at least let her come with us, she won't have a chance like this again." He freezes and turns to me. Letting go of his sister's arm he walks over to me and grabs my shirt, Lovi and Gil start to freak out.

"Lud, wh-what are you doing let him go!"

"If you don't let go of my brother I swear to go I will kill you!" Ludwig ignores the words of people around him, we begin to attract attention. He talks in a low, soft voice.

"I told you I don't vant to see your face again, I realize that this isn't your fault and you're only doing your job and it's my sister's fault that she got your attention but when I said no to us going it means no. It's bad enough she loves you, I don't vant her getting close to you." I take a moment to soak in his words, it crushed my heart.

"Ludwig, you can't be so controlling over people's lives... I know you're a sweet and kind man, you're only doing this because you're confused and in denial, maybe even a little scared... But because you feel like this doesn't mean you should make your sister cry because you're to stubborn..." From the way he reacted I don't think Ludwig is the kind of person who has people talk back to him. I see him cock his arm back, my eyes squint shut and wait for the pain. It never comes, instead I hear a loud breaking noise. slowly I blink my eyes open and look to see what on earth happened. Ludwig let go of me, his hands on the back of his head. On the ground I see pieces of shattered bits of something that I don't register at first. Pieces of shattered canvas. Looking over at Lovi half of a canvas is in his hands. He drops it on the ground panting.

"Feli, are you okay?" I completely ignore him and run to the canvas. My hands are shaking, fear of many different kinds are taking over my body, slowly I turn over the picture. Tears roll down my face.

"Feli?" Lovi leans down next to me, "I'm sorry, I panicked. I thought he was really going to hit you and I needed to stop him, it was the first thing I thought of." I faintly hear a loud woman's voice yelling, probably Gil yelling at Ludwig, blaming him for this. I look over and she looks like she is scolding him. They begin to fight.

I set down the painting and walk over to them. A hand gentle touches Gil's shoulder, she looks over at me.

"Gil, it's not his fault. I understand that some people have troubles controlling their anger, it's ok~" I try to give a faint smile to make it more believable.

"I'm so sorry Feli, maybe we could glue the painting back together?" I shake my head.

"The paint would have cracked, its ruined. But hey, you can't spell paint without pain, right~?" She goes and gathers the pieces Once collected she goes to the half canvas and starts placing them together like a puzzle.

"It's not that bad, it makes it more unique~" I smile at her optimism, she's actually a really nice lady. "I know I'd buy it~"

"Thank you so much Gil, I can see if when I get there I can hot glue it... So, do you want to come with us? We don't have any protection so you might get mobbed a little."

"I could protect you! I may be a girl but I'm tough!" I look towards Lovi, he shrugs.

"I guess that can do, it's better than nothing~" She makes a high pitched squeal noise. I look around to find Ludwig gone, secretly I pray thanks that he left. We get there a few minutes late than expected but he have enough time to hot glue the painting together, this painting would be the first one to up.

Lovino and I are called out to stage, we take out paintings along with us.

"Ok, Feliciano your first painting?" A spot light shines on me, I look over and see Gil standing off to the side of the stage. I take off the cover.

It's a painting of a bird locked up in a cage.

"Tell us about your painting please."

"Well, my paintings usually contain open fields and meadows but this time... There is something else that I feel though, so I spent all of last night on this painting~" Lots of people all of a sudden start bidding for it, it is the most successful one yet. A picture of a trapped bird, caged in when it should be flying high into the sky.


	7. He Lied

**I'm so sorry that this is so short and late, the marching band played the anthem at comerica park today and watched the game, didn't get back till 5:45 and then my phone died so I couldn't call to go home so I had to wait for a friend to drive me back, had to quickly change for soccer and didn't get home till 8 and I don't think I'll end up doing my homework today... So I wanted to post something because yall like it so much so I decided lets have luddy feels, enjoy! **

Ludwigs POV:

I can't believe him... Why would he try to take my sister? He acts like the good guy but he is nothing but scum! He probably used me for his so called art or something. He frames me as the bad guy but he's nothing but an idiot. I hear the door open, Gil is home.

"Ludwig!" I sigh deeply.

"Vat?" I try continuing what is was doing, reading a book but getting lost in my thoughts.

"I can't believe you did that! You almost punched him in the face, explain to me right now what is happening!" I set down the book and take off my reading glasses.

"He is nothing but a user. He is not a good guy." Gil glares at me, she has glared at me all my life, it has no effect anymore.

"Explain to me right now why you think this, something happened and I have no idea what but I am going to find out right now."

"... One day ven I was out a man bumped into me, Veneziano, he was getting chased by a bunch gang members. I saved him and in the end ve became good friends..."

"Oh my god, you and Feliciano were friends!?" I gave her a nod.

"It's not vat you think though, he vas vearing a disguise of some sort so I couldn't recognize him. He never told me who he vas, and..." She leans in closer to me, "One day I asked him out on a date, he never showed up..." Gil gasps.

"I could have been his step-sister!" Glaring eyes burn into my sister face, "Oh, sorry... Well, maybe he had a reason! I mean, he does do a lot during the day so maybe he accidently fell asleep."

"I hadn't seen him since, until one day vhen I found him running avay from the gang members. He was dressed normally and zat's ven I found out who he vas. He just used me." The memory of me asking him out on a date flashes through my mind. A sour, bitter taste forces my face to tense up and squint.

"Lud, maybe there is a reason... You do have the ability to jump to conclusions and never listen to them, have you tried listening to his story?" I almost snap.

"He knew how I felt! He knew exactly how I felt about him, both hims! He knew I hated him but kept it from me, I have no idea when he vas planning on telling me! I could have gone my whole life vithout knowing who he vas! I didn't vant to hear his excuse, there vas none for him!" She takes a step away from me.

"You loved Veneziano, why is Feliciano any different?" She walks away from me, those words echo through my head. Why is Feli any different? He was acting, he is an actuer. I can't trust anything he says, how he acts or anything because he could easily just fake it... Deep down though I know that I'm just using this as an excuse for not forgiving him. Gil was right, there was no difference. I just didn't want to admit to myself that I fell in love with a man I said I hated so much, I didn't want to be wrong, I want reasons not to love him for the shear fact that he is Feliciano Vargas... But she knows that it is true, he could easily act anything he wishes but you can tell he isn't. Feli is a good actuer but not good enough to constantly put up a good guy act, he's to stupid and weak for that... When I was around him he had an orb of innocence around him practically, it was nice knowing someone could be so innocent. He knew exactly how to make me smile... I shake my head, getting the thoughts out of my head. I can't forgive him for this, he hurt me, he used me, he lied to me... That's all that matters. He lied.


	8. Finding Out

**Hey, I'm going to be posting short chapters because of dance. For the next three Fridays I have extra dance practice so on Saturday I'll try to post a longer chapter, Enjoy~**

Feli's POV:

Thankfully when we got home he wasn't upset, we did clean up our dishes well so of course he hadn't noticed. We showed him the money, it wasn't in our possession long.

"Oh, by the way you guys are going to have a TV special next week. It's not like the usual interview, you will be working really hard to create a bunch of new things that can be presented, things like a few skits, songs, paintings. Also different types of stories, you'll have a few books that you give a brief description on, some short stories and poems that you'll read. This will make a lot of money so I expect you to be work all the time, you hear me?" Lovi nods.

"Wait, if we are going to be working so hard and long we deserve more food. Between meals we get a small snack, something healthy and that we can eat while working." He sighs.

"Fine, you'll get your snacks. If it'll get you working than whatever. You have 5 days until the show so get to work. I want a 2 skits of each, both of you and you alone. So you are in charge of thinking up 4 skits. Get started."

The whole 5 days is nothing but work. Work work work, 5 hours of sleep, 3 meals with 2 snacks. It's the day of the special, we are all made up and ready to do it. There is only one thing that I care about right now though, a certain song. I didn't know many words so making it was hard but I did it... Kind of... It's towards the end and I'm about to do my song.

Ludwig's POV:

My sister is watching a stupid special on the Vargas twins, I have no idea why she still likes them. I need to walk into the kitchen but to do so I need to pass my sister in the living room. I try to sneak behind the couch, if she notices me she'll force me to stay here and watch it with her.

"Hey Lud." I quietly curse under my breath.

"Hello Gil..." Know a fight wouldn't be won I sit next to her, she never took her eyes off the TV... I see Feli on the screen, my stomach twists in a knot.

"I'm going to let you guys hear a new song I created just for this show, it's a little random and really short but I think you'll enjoy it." He clears his throat and starts playing a guitar, "I love you, though you only hear every other word I say~ I'm not sorry~ My life, world is like hell~ Without you, I see that he has put up bar on my heart~ Windows black so that I can miss what the world date is~ You listen to every other word I say, but I still love you anyway~" A moment of silence before the crowed starts to cheer for him. I notice Gil grinning.

"That is a really weird song but he can sing anything well! The lyrics were really strange and didn't go together that well... It's different than his normal stuff but different is good! That's why the picture he made of a bird in a bird cage sold so well. That was the one that was broken, we glued it back together but the cracks made it look pretty good actually. Thankfully really, I would have felt so bad if it was ruined and he couldn't sell it." Our attention is once again brought to the TV.

"So Feli, why did you create that song? It is so different than usual." He sets down the guitar and smiles.

"Well, a friend and I had a fight and I had a lot of feelings that just wouldn't get out of my mind. I guess that that is just a really weird mixture of them, you listen to every other word I say." He kept smiling, how could he smile threw this all? He can't, this had to be hurting so much... He can't just act that. "Letting myself express like that made me a lot happier. I was able to get these feelings out in the open and that just really really helped me. I think some people don't realize how expressing your feelings can make you feel so much better." ... I can't stand this anymore, I walk back to my room.

"Lud come back! It's not over yet!" I close my door and sit at my table.

"You only listen to every other vord I say..." I begin to write down the lyrics from the song, underlining every other word.

"I'm sorry, life is hell. You see he put bars my vindows so I miss the date... Vow... He could have done a lot better at zis probably but vatever... It could just be a fluke..." I go halfway done the stairs. "Hey Gil, vat kind of pictures does Feli normally paint?"

"Open fields and meadows. He really likes painting nature and open places." Open places... I go back to my bedroom, memories flashing around my mind. Back to when I first met him and he said he was just starting to enjoy his life to when we were talking about our lives... How did I not notice? How did I not notice the signs, it was all so clear and I didn't notice that he was suffering. I wouldn't even listen to him... I run down the stairs.

"Gil, vere is this thing being held?" Once again, her eyes never fall from the TV.

"It's about half an hour away at a TV set or something..." I grab my car keys and start driving around the city. About half an hour away I find a place that has a lot of business, I pull over and see a TV show being shot and two red head boys.


	9. Reply

**Once again thank you for all of the people who have supported this and left a really kind review, know that I am very grateful for it and I'm doing this for you guys! Trust me, I was at dance for 2 and a half hours and during this whole time I was trying to find a cheap hotel for colossal but I did it! Somehow! So enjoy!**

Feli's POV:

The TV special just finished and Lovi and I were just about to go back to our house. We walk outside, the sun still beating down on us. As we walk to the limo a figure appears out of no where, that same figure that has been following my all my life as it seems. I freeze, my brother passes by but after a moment of realizing that I hadn't followed him he stopped and locked back. Both walk up to me.

"Feli?" They repeated in unison. When Lovi sees Lud he glares at him, I had told Lovi the story earlier and now he's turning into that overly protective brother.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Lovi stands in front of my protectively.

"I vant to talk to Feli." They both began to lean into each other, you could see the sparks between them.

"Oh well, I don't want you talking to my stupid little brother! I won't have you hurting him!"

"Oh vell, I need to talk to him!" I pull Lovi away before they end up in a fight.

"Lovi, I'll be fine... Please, just leave. I'll be home in a little bit, ok?"

"... Fine, but if he hurts you I'll kill him." He walked away from us and into the limo, I walk up to Ludwig.

"What is it you want to talk about Luddy?"

Ludwig's POV:

I stare down at him, my cheeks burning, heart racing, I don't know what to say.

"Um... I vanted to talk about..." I gulp looking down at him, he was so cute and innocent... He reminds me of someone... "I vanted to say... I'm sorry for how I acted and I..." He looks up at my eyes. He has the softest brown eyes I've ever seen...

"Yes, Luddy?" He gives me a small smile.

"I..." I close my eyes, "I vant to stay friends..." I keep my eyes closed, I can't look at him now... But he lied to me, I can't give into him! I won't, I refuse, I will resist! I don't think I can fully love him ever again.

"Oh... Ok, having you as a friend is fine~ As long as you don't hate me and your happy then I'm happy too~! But um, can I have you phone number so I can talk to you whenever?" I can't do this... If I keep talking to him I'll slowly lose my will... But, I can't be so cruel to him, I said we can be friends.

"Um... Sure..." I take out a piece of paper and quickly scribble down my number and hand it to him. "Here..." He take it from me, I dare to look down at his smiling face... He is so cute, I can't handle it. I run away.

Feli's POV:

He gave me his number! A sense of hope fills me, we may have a chance of being together one day!

"Hey Lud, do you think that one day we could maybe try being together?" I look up from the paper to find Ludwig running away. I slowly walk into the car, this is a step in the right direction. At least it's something...

"Feli, what's wrong? Did he hurt you? You look really sad? What did he say to you?" I smile at him.

"Oh, we're just going to be friends~" He looks at me for a moment before hugging me.

"I know how much you care about him a lot... I'm sure one day it'll all be okay..." I hug back crying.

"Yeah, I'm sure it will~ Thanks Lovi~ You're a really great brother, please never forget that. Alright?" He nods at me.

"I won't, now lets go home..."

I can't help but think all day. I know Ludwig is so familiar, but why? From where? I don't even know... When could I know him? All of his reactions, everything is so familiar. His face is familiar even... A flashing light snaps me out of my thoughts.

I grab my phone and check the message, it's from Ludwig.

'I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly, I just really had to leave...' A small smile appears on my face.

'It's fine~ I'm guessing you didn't hear my question then?'

'What question?'

'Well... Could we be together one day?'

No reply.


	10. A Dream Come True

**I think there will be one more chapter left, I don't wanna end it though! As if I really would know how to... It makes me sad knowing it's going to end soon!**

Over the next few days Lud and I keep talking to each other through text, sooner or later I end up telling him my life and him. We want to meet up one night but it'd be really hard for me to sneak out and if I get caught I'd be in so much trouble. In the middle of the night I quietly walk downstairs and out the front door.

We walk to our normal place, I didn't put anything on this time to make myself look different. We agreed that I would be myself around him.

"Hello Feli." I smile and hug Ludwig tightly.

"Hey Luddy~"

"I've been doing some thinking and I've come to a conclusion..." I take a step back and stare at him, my head cocked slightly.

"What is it?" I can see his awkwardness, he's tense and flustered. It's fairly cute.

"I've thought a lot about us and I've decided that-" Something deep inside me just forced something out of me, as if it knew what he was going to say.

"We knew each other when we were younger." He stares at me semi-shocked.

"Vat are you talking about?" He finally said.

"I couldn't get it off of my mind, I know I knew you from somewhere. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I just realized you were a friend of mine when we were both little, before I was famous, before my parents gave me away... We would play together in the park..." I look up at Ludwig, I can tell the memories are flooding back into his head as well.

"Feli..." My heart races.

"I've decided..." My palms are sweaty.

"That..." The suspense is killing me, I made or break the relationship.

"Ve should..." I'm afraid of what he's going to say.

"..." The second of silence feels like years. He takes a deep breath in and out. "Go out again..." He smiles at me. My face lights up, I feel like I had just one a million dollars but I probably just did in memories.

"Really!?" He nods at me.

"I accept the fact I vas vrong about you, you are a great person and I should have realized that earlier." He leans down, our lips touching. My heart flutters in my chest and my whole body tingles. This is the best moment about my life. My life hasn't been so bad, so far every dream that I've had has come true and for most people their first dream isn't even accomplished so I am a truly lucky person and I thank god for that.

My face burns and I can soon feel the good air rush against my lips, his lips were really soft...

"I love you Luddy~" We embrace each other, the warmth makes me tired, making me feel sorta like a cat...

"I love you too Feli, now go home. You need your sleep and I don't vant you getting in trouble." I nod, he's so nice~

"Alright, I'll see ya later Luddy~!" I run back towards my house, turning back and waving at him. I can see him waving back, detecting a small smile on his face.

Today was the best day of my life, but tomorrow was going to be the worst.

The next day at about 2 Lovi and I were reading something, we had found an interesting little thing about shootings, when he marches into our room.

"FELICIANO!" I jump in my seat, he scared the living shit out of me.

"Wh-what!?" He slams a magazine in front of my face, I grab it and read the front cover. My eyes widen at what I see and I know that now I am fucked.

It's a tabloid and on the front cover the words "Feliciano Vargas' Gay Shocker!" A picture of Ludwig and I kissing on the front of it. Somehow during our time last night someone had found us and taken pictures.

"You had sneaked out last night and now look at this? What the hell am I supposed to do!? No one's going to want your gay ass anymore! If you ruined this I'm going to work you like a dog! I will get money out of you, one way or the other!" Lovi stands up and gets into his face.

"You won't talk to Feli like that! He done nothing wrong, it's your fault that he snuck out because if you would have just let us live out our lives we wouldn't have to sneak out! Feli can't help with loving another man and if you do anything bad to him I will inform somebody and get the social services involved!"

He slaps Lovi, hard. I can feel the tears burning my eyes.

"You will do nothing! I own you and you will do as I say! If anybody comes to the door asking about you Feli I am sending them to your room and you'll deal with them." He storms out of the room. I sit there shaking, Lovi walks over to me and caresses me in his arms.

"It's okay Feli, he's gone now... I promise I won't let him hurt you, if any people come by I'll get rid of them. I promise I'll protect you..." I notice a big red mark on his face, all of this is my fault. If I had stayed home none of this would have happened.

"I'm so sorry Lovi, this is my fault... Please, just let me handle it, you've done to much for me."

"You're so stupid! It's not your fault, it's just you being yourself! Yeah, you do stupid things sometimes and you shouldn't have been walking around in public without a disguise because you're just a dumb ass but I'm your older brother! I need to protect you! And... It's my fault that we are in this mess so I will do this... Stupid S.O.B..."

I hug Lovi tightly, like I said he always tries to act so mean to me but is so caring... You know he's really bad at acting mean.

Over the time people do come around and try asking me a bunch of questions but Lovi chases them away. Later that day I get a text for Ludwig.

'Did you see the tabloid!?'

'Yes, he got really mad at me.'

'Did he do anything bad to you?'

'No, he just screamed and ranted. Fratello stood up for me but he slapped him, hard. I felt really bad...'

'It's not your fault.'

'I know... But what are we going to do?'

'I don't know... Just go with what happens.'

'Right.'

A week later he agreed to do a TV special, it's about me being gay. I do not want to go on that stage because he is going to be up there with me...

We are at the set and are taken onto stage, we sit into two of three empty chairs.

"So, Feliciano, is it really true that you're gay?" The host asks us first, I look over at him.

"Well, I do find girl really pretty but I don't know if that means I'm bisexual. My personal feelings though, it doesn't really matter who you love as long as the person treats you well and you really love each other. I don't think it matters what gender you love, it could be either but it doesn't change who you are."

"I see, personally I agree with you. Even though I am a straight person, loving a certain gender doesn't change who you are." He interrupts.

"Sadly though not everyone thinks that way, I'm just worried Feli will lose work opportunities Thinking that people are judging him for who he loves is really hard, it's really unfair for him." I want to vomit.

"That is very true as well. Well, Feli, we have a surprise for you." I look at him oddly, "Come on in."

I look over and see Ludwig walk in, my eyes widen.

"L-Ludwig?" He sits in the empty chair next to me and nods.

"Hey." The host smiles and decides to talk.

"We brought Ludwig here so we can really have a talk." I look over at him, I can tell he's pissed off at this. I think right now Ludwig is his worse enemy.

"I don't really see what there is to talk about..." I tell them.

"Well, how will you two be handling your relationship and how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know... I'm just..." I feel so awkward right now, I can feel so many eyes on us. My heart begins to race, I don't like this anymore. I've never liked it but I hate it now, I'm scared and I can't do this anymore.

"I..." I feel the tears trying to fight through my eyes. "I'm just going to try to keep finding jobs and the relationship depends on what Ludwig feels..." I try forcing a smile on my face. Ludwig suddenly stands up.

"I can't stand this anymore." He pulls me to my feet, clearly able to tell my real feelings. "Look at him. He's about to start breaking out in tears. He doesn't vant this, he vants a normal life vere people aren't vatching him and judging him all the time! I can't sit by and vatch him be sad, I can't let him suffer..."

The host and every body else in the room stairs in shook.

"Well... Feliciano, is this true? Do you not like being famous?" I look at him, out to the crowed, at Ludwig, to him then back to Ludwig, I then give a nod.

"I don't like being famous, I don't want people to see me anymore. I just want a normal life were I can make my own decisions that no one can judges me for them. I want to live with my parents and I want to stay with Ludwig. And I want my fratello by my side because without him I wouldn't be who I am today and I just love him so much." Ludwig hugs me tightly as the tears break through, the crowd cheers and aws at us.

"That's very sweet, I think that you should get what you want. If you'd like I'd like to find your parents and reunite you and your brother with your parents." I run over towards him and hug him tightly.

"Thank you so much! You're a really kind person!" He laughs and hugs.

"You're welcome~" I never felt so happy, I was going to live the life I always wanted. Yet another dream was going to be coming true. But whenever a dream comes true, something bad always happens.

_BAM!_

An echo through the room, I turn around to find a red, sparkly, splatted mess.

"YOU ASS, IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT MY MONEY BAGS ARE GONE!"

My eyes widen, people scream and gasp.

"Someone call 911!" The host screams, the crowd glows with the light of phones.

"Ludwig!" I run over to him, trying to lift up his body. I see the shot hole, quickly I rip off my shirt and tie it around the wound to help stop the bleeding.

"Feli?" I gently touch his cheek.

"Luddy, please stay awake. Do that for me, please? An ambulance is almost here, please, just stay awake." I can barely see past the tears in my eyes. The security had tackled him and are trying to get him away from the public so he can't hurt anybody else.

"Feli... I'm sorry, I just vanted to make sure you could live happy."

"I know, but I'd be happier with you ve~" A smile creeps across my face, "You're going to be fine, you're so strong and amazing! Everything always turns out fine!"

"I love you Feliciano." He smiles at me, his eyes close. I stare shocked.

"Ludwig?" I try shaking him. "Ludwig please, open your eyes!" I can hear the sirens outside. "Ludwig open your eyes!" I keep shaking him harder and harder but no reaction. The paramedics come in and pry me off of him.

I sit there crying. Whenever something good in my life happens the worst has to come around and take it from me. Ludwig has to be fine, he will be fine. He's not the one to just give in, he's stubborn, he'll stay alive.

A few hours I get a call on my phone, I answer it. I was still crying, they had taken me into a room to let me cool down, I had a bunch of tissues and someone standing by in case I asked for anything that wasn't near me.

"H-hello?"

"Hello, is this Feliciano Vargas?"

"Yes."

"We have some news about Ludwig." My heart races.

"While in the car his heart stopped."

No...

"We were able to revive him, but it stopped again."

No no no...

"It kept on trying to stop, even when we got to the hospital."

Oh please god no.

"We've done all we can, gave him blood, set up a breathing machine, everything."

It can't be true.

"He made it."


	11. A New Reality

Once I hear the good news I rush to the hospital Even though I hoped Ludwig was going to make it a feeling deep inside was telling me that he wasn't. It was like I was going to have a bad ending no matter what, but, right now everything is going to be fine. Ludwig will get better and I will go home with fratello. Everything will be fine.

Once at the hospital some nice nurses direct me to Lud's room, I run away as I thank them. Although I was in a hurry to reach Ludwig's room I was horribly nervous. When the doctor had called me all he had said was Ludwig made it, he was alive, but he didn't tell me what his condition was. Was he unconscious Was he in a critical condition? Was he having troubles doing things or moving a body part? Was he even eating alright? In the midst of my thoughts I turn my head as the numbers flash by and somehow I am able to read them. I had ran right past his door.

Embarrassed that I had ran right past the door I was going for I slow down to a stop, trying to calm myself as well. Once I am controlled I turn around and walk a few doors down and stop in front of familiar numbers. Raising my hand my heart pounds in my chest, and with each beat my head throbs along with it. Then I slowly, ever so slowly knock on the door exactly three times. A faint 'come in' can be heard.

I reach my hand out, grasping onto the cold metal knob and slowly turning. When I hear the click I extend my arm and walk into the room, closing the door behind me once I have fully entered the room.

I look around, the walls are white and there is a big window at the end of the room that is open, letting in a nice refreshing breeze. The bedside tables are made of a nice wood, everything looks actually kind of nice, sort of homey.

"Hey Feli." I turn my head to the origin point of the voice. There I see a weak looking man with blonde hair and blue eyes, a faint smile plastered onto his face. When the image finally registered I walked over and sat in the empty chair next to the bed.

"How are you feeling?" My voice was quiet and shy.

"I'm doing alright, the stitches are kind of bothering me but that's it really."

"When can you leave, do you know?" He shakes his head in return.

"No idea, shouldn't take too long though." It was my fault that this happened to Ludwig, if I didn't cave in we wouldn't be in this mess.

"Can I get you anything?" He shakes his head once again. Later that night I could feel the quilt consume me.

About a week later Ludwig was released from the hospital and I am the one who helps him back to his home, mainly into his car and out, and driving him...

"Hey Feli, I have a surprise for you once ve get back to my house." Right now I do not need another special, especially from Ludwig.

"Please, you didn't have to do anything for me." I can feel a hand rest on my leg as I drive down the road.

"I didn't have to, but I vanted to." I can feel my palms start to sweat on the steering wheel. Upon arriving to Ludwig's house I pull into the driveway and help him out of the car, also making out way into the house. Once inside I help him into one of the nearby chairs, I didn't notice anything else in the room.

"Feliciano." A foreign voice breaks the silence that occupied the room, I turn around to address the unknown speaker.

Standing behind me is a tall man, looks about the age of 30 or so, with brown hair and brown eyes. I study the details on his face, looking for anything recognizable but fail to notice anything.

"How do you know my name?" The stranger takes a deep sigh.

"I should have guessed that you wouldn't recognize me, but hey, I can't blame you for it now can I? Feli, I am you grandfather~" Those words rang in my head, my grandfather?

"You're my grandfather?" He nods with a chipper smile on his face, his attitude reminds me of a certain Italian that I know of. Maybe he is my grandfather, his face does resemble ours... "Not to sound rude but why are you here but not my parents?" A sad look replaces the chipper one.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?" He sits down in a chair and pat down on the seat next to him, so I take the seat.

"Feli, a long time ago when you were just a little thing your mom, dad and I would play with you and your brother at a nearby park. Remember"

"Mhm, going to that park is when he showed up and ended up taking fratello and I." My grandfather grabs my hand, a bad feeling rises in my stomach.

"That isn't the true story. You see, one day when you were very little your mom had gotten really sick. She had passed away a few days later."

"Oh... Is my father dead to then?"

"No, your father is still alive."

"Where is he then?" There is a long pause.

"Once your mother died your father slowly became sad, depressed and even snapped a little. The thing was he was a good actor, you and your brother were so similar to your mom. Your faces looked like her, you were pretty much a spitting image of her. Seeing you two each day drove him even more crazy, he hated seeing you because you always reminded him of his wife."

"So our father gave us away because he hated our faces?" Another long pause.

"Your father... His job for a living was being a talent agent."

"No..." My heart sank, that man was not my father.

"I'm sorry Feli but it's true. No one knew how he treated you two, if I had know I would have taken you away from him immediately." I pull my hand away from his.

"I'm going home..."

"Feli please, I know this is a lot to take in but you will be happy living with me! Both you and Lovino! You use to love playing with me, I would let you ride my shoulders and we would get ice cream together!" I shake my head.

"I don't care, that was the past and I don't remember it. He can not be my dad! He was horrible to us, there is no way no one knew! Why wouldn't anybody check up on us!?" My grandfather stands up and grabs my arm before I get a chance to run away.

"Please calm down, you are over reacting! He is not a father to you, but he is your father. He use to be a very kind person to you and your brother so no one thought that he would even do such a thing to his own sons. I did send you letters though." Letters? What was he talking about?

"I hadn't gotten any letters..."

"But you replied to them... You must have gotten them." My blood began to boil as the realization hit me.

"He was replying to you, not me... He never gave me any letters, you were tricked." He stares at me in shock. When I close my eyes I feel his arms wrap around my shoulders.

"Feli... I am so sorry, I promise that I will not let anything bad happen to you again though. I won't let your father get to you and I'll make sure you get the life you actually wanted. Now, do you want to go get your brother and pack up your things?" I stand there for a few moments pondering the question.

"... Alright..." What other choice do I have? I'm jobless and parent-less so I need somewhere to stay, I'm forced to go with my grandfather.

"Alright, come on~ Oh and Ludwig, call me if you ever need help~!" Ludwig smiles.

"Of course Mr. Rome, but you really don't have to." I look up at my grandfathers face, he's gleaming with happiness.

"Are you kidding! You're Germania's grandson, I'd do anything for you~" Something forces me to smile at this. After this we exit the house and enter the car.

"Back in Italy they used to call me Rome, I was very popular and strong so that is how I got the nickname. I was friends with Ludwig's grandfather who was nicknamed Germania for some reason, he had never told me the story about his name... Oh well, I guess that isn't so important now is that~?" Grandpa Rome exits out of Ludwig's driveway and on to our house, he looks over at me. I am staring out the window, my mouth in a sort of frown.

"Hey," Grandpa Rome broke the silence, "On our way home why don't we pick up a pizza and some gelato?" My face lights up.

"Ve, yeah~!" Rome stares at me in surprise then laughs.

"I think you and I will have a lot in common. Oh, and for dinner is pasta~"

I misjudged Grandpa Rome, he's really nice and I think we are going to get along well! He loves food like me and is always really happy! I think my life is really going to turn around~

After the packing and gelato we arrive at grandpa Rome's house. We enter laughing and smiling as we also bring in our bags. Rome goes out and gets the mail.

"Hey Feli, Lovi. You two got a letter." He opens it up and begins to read it.

"What is it?" We ask him.

"Oh... Your father is going to be put on trial and you two are required to show up at court. Ludwig is forced to go as well."

"No... We can't go..." Lovi hugs me tightly.

"Feli, you and Lovi have to go. It's the law."

"No! I can't see him again!"

"Feli, calm down." Lovi said into my chest.

"Feli, I promised that I would protect you from your father. I will not let him get you, there is enough evidence to lock him away for a long time."

"No! If we go something bad is going to happen!" Rome hugs me on top of Lovi, I start trying to get away.

"He will be guarded, he won't be able to do any harm to you, Lovi or Ludwig."

I can't. No matter how many times I am told that nothing bad will happen I know something will happen. The feeling is deep in me, panic and fear courses through my veins. Life hates me, when I finally awake from my nightmare, away from the terror, I slip back into unconsciousness and back into pit of despair I refuse now, I refuse to fall back under and return to the nightmare. I'm finally able to live and dream happy things and I will not go back to the nightmares. I will do everything and anything to stop it, even if it means falling into an eternal sleep.


	12. One Day

**I'm really sorry that I couldn't make this longer. I hope to have the next chapter be the ending one but I've gotten sick and I feel like absolute crap so I can't think clearly and I'm actually surprised I was able to come up with this so don't expect me to post the next chapter so soon. I'll try to work on a little bit of it each day but since I plan on having it be the last chapter I want to try making it the best it can be so I hope you enjoy this short chapter and once again I am so sorry I can't do much more**.

A week later, when Ludwig was confirmed and announced fully healed, we are required to show up in court for my fathers case and my stomach has been hurting since I've woken up.

We drive into the parking lot, I feel like I'm going to throw up now. Once the car is stopped I quickly jump out of the seat and into the fresh air to help settle my stomach. As I'm leaning against the tree, feeling the cool air against my face, a hand touches my shoulder.

"Hey Feli, you alright?" I look over and find my grandpa standing next to me.

"No... I want to go home..." I turn away from him again. I hear a sigh coming from behind me and arms clutching around my body following it.

"I know you do but we must go or your father will never go to jail. Look, I promise that I will do whatever I can to protect you, Lovi and Ludwig, alright?" I nod in agreement just for the fact that I must. We draw our attention to the man entering to court building with large men next to him, I knew exactly who it is too.

"We'd better get going, he is already here so the court is going to start soon." Lovino had finally said something. Grandpa, Lovi and I enter the court building and then on to the room. When we enter the room I can sense a more pleasing presents. My head turns to a figure with blonde hair and blue eyes smiling at me, I smile back at him and sit down next to him, once next to him he grips onto my hand tightly. He could tell that I wasn't feeling so hot.

"How are you feeling?" I ask so he can't say anything to me.

"Good, but I'm completely healed so I shouldn't not be vell you know." I had forgotten he was declared healed...

"Oh yeah... Sorry." I can feel something warm and soft on me cheeks, it brings a smile onto my face.

"I promise it vill be okay, just relax."

No matter how many times someone tells that it will be okay, that they will protect me it doesn't sooth the overwhelming fear and panic that is wrenched deep within my heart. By the time that the fate of our lives are sealed something will go wrong. Something will happen and one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. And on that one day, it will come back to haunt me. I just pray to go that that day shall never come but it will. I have realized that fate doesn't like to make happy endings. This, to me, seems to be how it goes:

You have a not so happy beginning.

Next a happy late beginning.

Then a tragedy.

After once again another happy thing and right when you think that your life is going to stay perfect and you will have that happy dream ending you so direly wished for it turns into a continuous downfall spiral of tragedy and happiness and in the end, in the end I feel with ever fiber of my being that the ending shalt fall onto the tails end of the coin toss when you picked heads. Right now is the coin toss, the thing is which side is it going to land on?

It's going to land in the middle.


	13. The Final Decision

The rest of my life is in the hands of random strangers, strangers who don't know what if feels like to be in my shoes. They do not know the horror of having someone ruin your life. They do not realize what power they have in their hands.

A gentle tap on my shoulder pulls me from my thoughts, I look over and see Ludwig grabbing my hand.

"There is no vay he isn't getting out of this, no possible vay." A man speaks.

"All rise for the judge." Everyone in the room is done as told as the judge enters the room and stands at his podium "You may all sit now." Once again, we do as told and sit down in our seats.

"You may begin." The judge looks over at our lawyer, as he gets up and calls someone to the stand. The person he called up was one of the doctors that had studied and recorded Lovi's, Ludwig's and my own condition after we had gotten away from his wrath.

I notice the lawyer holding something in his hands. He raises the in the air even though the text would be to small for anybody to see.

"These documents contain the data and evidence against the crimes that that man had caused." He brings them back down and hands them to the doctor. "The folders have notes written by you on my three clients and their medical conditions, am I correct?" The doctor flips through the pages in the folder, staring intensely at them.

"This is correct. These are my original, unaltered notes and charts of the patients" the doctor hands the folders back to the lawyer which then he proceeds to hand it to the jury so they are able to examine the water proof evidence.

The folders contains photographs of the shooting along with some others of our home and our bodies, any parts that are bruised. The lawyer walks over to his suitcase and takes out what looks to be a video tape.

"May I request a television so I am capable to play this video tape as evidence?" The lawyer asks the judge.

"You may."

A few moments later a T.V. is wheeled into the room and hooked up. The lawyer inserts the tape and a video of us at the interview where Ludwig got shot played. It was taken from the studios security office, another version also shows. It is the news cast version of the video showing different tapes taken by individuals and the original show camera. The evidence was rock solid, I had to admit that there was no possible way that he wasn't going to jail. But, I will soon learn that when I let down my guard is when the time strikes. The lawyer puts away the video tape and the judge asks my fathers lawyer.

"How will you possibly be defending this?" I look over to them, I wanted to see their broken faces. I wanted to see them panicked and scared. I wanted to see him angry and upset because I knew I was going to win and he could no longer torture us. But, when I looked over, I saw the lawyer smirking.

He was acting so calm and cool, but how? How could that man possibly save my father when there is so much cold, hard evidence to back us up!? My hands started sweating and I could feel my heart about to explode out of my chest. He has to be giving a poker face or something, he is lying. He can't in a million years save my father from jail. Who would even do that? It's clear that my dad is crazy, heartless and just a horrible person! Who would be so heartless and unjust to let a man, such as my father, get off easy or even scott free. Apparently it was the second devil in my life. My fathers lawyer.

"Sir, if I may. My client is not guilty due to insanity."

Those words kick the breath out of me. I forgot that you could plea insanity, and the thing is that my father is actually mentally unstable! They weren't just trying to get my father off easy, it actually was the truth. It was reality wrapped up in a big red bow but what looked like a nice gift secretly was your worst nightmare. That is how someone could be so heartless. The fact that it was unadulterated truth gave the sense of accomplishment and pride within ones self that you could save a man who would spend the rest of his life in jail. He would be made famous. He does not care that one day that insane man will come back to haunt me. But... Even if my father was sent to jail it's just my look that he is released early of escapes somehow. Right when I think that he will never get out he does. I would become an all night watchman for the night that day never comes again. What would be the point of living that life if you must spend every second of it afraid of what is to come? Because that is the worst part, waiting. Like waiting for the fist to hit tour face, or during a soccer game and you know exactly when the ball is about to hit you.

My hand grips tightly onto Ludwig's and Lovi's, the panic inside my rises. I feel like the trapped bird in the cage in my painting. The fear starts to consume me, the tears try to break but I try all that I can to compose myself but I must break free! I look over at Ludwig, the memories of us flood through my mind. Secretly, he was my true dream. All my life he is what I always wanted, what I always longed for. He is my love.

I didn't even notice it but the judge was pondering it.

"Can you try to prove more that your client is insane?" The lawyer nod. He takes things out of his suitcase and hands them to the judge to examine.

"Hm... I need a testimony first before I make a final decision." They lawyer smirks.

"Lovino Vargas, to the stands please." Lovi pried my hand off of his and went to the stands. He looked seriously pissed off right now. "Lovino, how would you describe your father?" Fratello releases a loud sigh before receiving acceptance of the truth.

"He's crazy as hell and an ass!" Lovi gets up before being dismissed and returns to me. Once again I latch onto his hand. Grandpa Rome and Ludwig are called up as well and give the same response, both hating the fact that it is true. Then, the worst happens.

"Feliciano Vargas, I call you to the stands." My world falls under my feet as I slowly make my way to the stand. "How would you describe your father? Need I remind you that you are under oath?" I shake my head.

"I would describe him as..." My voice was trembling just as my body. "As..."

"As? Finish your sentence!"

My breath quickens, like no matter how much I breath air doesn't enter my lungs. I can feel the panic and fear consume my body slowly. I try to keep my composure but slowly it begins to fade away.

"As..."

My eyes widen, my pulse is racing and my breath heavy and fast. If I don't stop soon I'll pass out, I can already feel myself getting dizzy. I need to think of a way out. Can I plead the 5th? No, that won't work. Can I say he is badgering me? No... Unnecessary question is out of the way. There is no way out.

I am the songbird and this stand is my cage. Inception as how everything is caged by something else until infinity. But I am the center, and if I break through one thousands more stand in its place.

I can see it. I can see the bird in the cage, it's flailing its wings and crashing against the cage with all its might, trying desperately to escape. I can hear its painful cries, the high pitched shrills of terror. In its eyes I can see the panic and fear.

I feel it in me. Energy flows through me, sudden panic and fear grows stronger in me. I can no longer control myself. Just as in the alleyway 'fight or flight' takes over my body and it screams to me fight to flight.

I jump over the podium and run. The bailiffs run after me but I keep running. I can hear the screams from my left telling me to stop but I can't. I need to escape. I can't stand another moment trapped by his iron grip. I am the bird. I am my paintings, and just as my painting of the songbird broke I too shall ride the horrid image from the world. But, unlike my painting, it will not be pieced back together.

I burst through the doors. People stare in shock as I run down the hall with the men chasing after me. I'm almost to the front doors, I can see the light! I'm almost there! I'm almost free, and I can do it! I am going to be free!

I did it again. I let my guard down.

All of a sudden I find myself on the ground, a scarlet puddle forming around my body. The sounds of screams and footsteps become a blur and a mixed up mess. It doesn't take long before someone pulls me into their arms. I look up at them, trying to focus my blurred vision caused by tears and dizziness.

I see a familiar figure. Slowly I can make out blonde hair and blue eyes as I feel a warm liquid drop onto my face.

"You'll be okay... Just stay avake, you told me this remember? You'll be okay, just vait a little..." I give a weak, faint smile.

"Oh Luddy, please... I'm finally going to be free, please don't keep me caged." I can see the tears pour down his face now and onto me.

"Don't talk like that! You vill be fine!" I try hugging him with the last of my strength. I whisper something to his ear.

"Luddy... You were my dream, what I had always longed for... I'll be waiting for you~"

My world starts fade to black and my body go limp. Just before my vision completely fades out of all the screams and noises I heard I was able to make out a sentence, a sentence that made memories flash by and tears drip down my face and a grin plastered on as well. A sentence I've always wanted to hear and know it be true, and it was given by the one I knew it to be true.

"I love you..."

My world fades completely black and my strength completely gone but I got what I longed for: Love.

~The End~


End file.
